I am arguably the busiest I’ve ever been. My life’s candle burns relentlessly at both ends. My predominant sustainable food group is coffee. I am a slave to my snooze button, and as a result, am habitually 3-7 minutes late pretty much everywhere I go. I am a wife and mother, I have three jobs, and I am a graduate student. So, sure! Why not? Now seems like the perfect time to author a new blog!
I love to write. As a card-carrying introvert, I’m exponentially more comfortable communicating my deepest feelings in writing rather than face-to-face. In what can only be described as a glorious dumpster fire of a combination, I’m also President and CEO of the Perfectionists’ Club! So this is where I’d like to meet you…on the corner of FortheLoveofGodHelpMe Street and JesusPullYourselfTogether Lane in Detail Town, USA. Can you handle it? Grab some popcorn, people. I will hold your hand.
Whoever said “life begins at 40” is a genius. Congratulations, mystery person! You speak the truth. So much has changed in the last five years, and I thank God for every bit of it. I haven’t always been this open to change, however. My life’s choices and actions were rules-dominated, exquisitely contemplated, and practical. In fact, if I had to choose the two most predominantly influential forces on my life in my thirties, that’d be an easy choice: guilt and fear. (Yep, it’s as exhausting as it sounds.) Thankfully, though, and while I’m still a work in progress, I’ve come to know a new and different way. Relying on myself, for years upon years, seemed entirely logical. I’m a smart girl, I thought. I should be able to figure it all out. And when I couldn’t? I would simply chalk it up to (my personal) failure and try harder. All me, all the time.
Then, on December 14, 2015, I would be posed a question that would change the course of my life forever…
Who is Jesus?
I was a bit taken aback, because I didn’t expect to be asked it in the first place. But then, I was even more surprised to find that I had a hard time putting my answer to words. Eventually, after fumbling to find the words–any words–I managed a response, to which the asker replied,
No. Who is Jesus to YOU? We all know about Jesus; though we don’t all know Him. Who is He to you?
That divine and blessed encounter set the course for what would be the most enlightening, empowering, important, life-giving path I could ever have imagined. And it’s time that I shared it.
So why, of all the times I’ve considered it, am I moving forward with a blog now? Well, a few reasons. First, because if I’ve learned anything in the last two years or so, it’s that when God prompts, you respond. His perfect timing is just that…perfect. And although as with much of what my Earthly mind conceives, this seems irrational; that’s the thing about faith. Faith looks foolish when we don’t understand. Isaiah 55:8 says, “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” As an intensely rational person, I struggle with responding to this truth daily. Second, speaking of truth…this is the bottom line: nothing that paints us in a negative light, nothing we believe about ourselves that’s defeatist or indicting, nothing we perceive as failure, and nothing defining us as unworthy of His love (or anyone else’s) is from Him. None of that is His truth. God’s truth is love, and victory in the resurrection of His son, Jesus Christ. When God looks at you and at me, He sees His perfect child; not the flawed, never good enough, trying-real-hard-here-sir-but-never-quite-good-enough person we see. The freedom found in finally understanding this, after all these years, is just about indescribable…but I’m going to try. Finally, I look around. His beauty, His promises, His majesty…they’re everywhere. All the Lovely Things. His Holy Spirit surrounds us and lives within us. He is in everything, and I’m led to acknowledge this in my favorite way. I want to write about it.
If you want to follow along? Amazing! There’s so much to tell, and I pray I have the courage to say it. And truly, I can’t wait to share the journey with you.